Resilient Loving is a book for spouses/partners of people on the autism spectrum with short, practical resources to reconnect with your values, needs, strengths, expectations, and vibrancy, as well as explorations on different communication styles. It can complement any therapeutic support you are getting or provide very valuable support if you haven't got the time, budget, or disposition to seek therapy.
We thought you would like to see the author and the copy-editor for Resilient Loving, so we have recorded a "perfectly imperfect" non-scripted, improvised Zoom call for you.
As an organiser of a Meetup Peer Support Group for people who are in a relationship with an autistic person, I often receive phone calls from such partners. Even though the details may be different, the callers are usually looking for support because they may feel emotionally exhausted, lonely, confused, and at the end of their tether. Many are wondering whether they should give up on the relationship altogether because of the toll the lack of reciprocity is having on their health and wellbeing.
Apart from hosting and attending group meetings, I really love having these one-to-one conversations, during which at some stage I usually notice a shift in the callers. They usually express a sense of relief and hope. Some become clearer about their next step. Some join our Support Group.
Since it is not possible for me to be available for everybody like that, I wrote the Resilient Loving book in the hope that it will feel as if we are talking face to face over a cup of tea. It contains many short passages, so that you can pick up the reading when you are in need of inspiration, hope, or understanding.
Would you like to leaf through some sample pages? (I recommend using FULL SCREEN view).
You can read the whole e-book for free with KINDLE UNLIMITED or buy it (as an e-book, softback or hardback) from AMAZON by clicking here.
You can also download free Resilient Loving Flashcards, which are bitesize reminders for your phone or Kindle. Just click here to view and download
Another book by and for partners of people on the autism spectrum?
There are many excellent books written by partners of people on the autism spectrum.
My favourite one is...
There are also many excellent books written by therapists who work with people like us and couples like ours. I love them all!
However, I wanted to create something very practical that would lead us gently along a journey of reconnection with parts of ourselves that are not being expressed in our relationships because of the many adaptations autism requires. Besides, my aim is to help you discover how to get more out of your relationship with an autistic person.
The Resilient Loving E-book and The Companion are resources that are very useful to myself as well. It is very easy to forget what we know about autism and our partners when we are upset, so many times I take a random section and reconnect with a wiser, more knowledgeable part of myself.
I think the title Resilient Loving reminds us that love is not a feeling or a "thing" but an action. Besides, we need to be strong and flexible enough to adapt to the different situations we go through.
I believe we are usually very loving to others, but not so much to ourselves, so the first part of the e-book brings reflections and short activities to help us reconnect with our unique gifts, our strength, our vulnerability, our needs and our joy.
The second part explores Communication, both when we are at our best and when we (or our partners) are low on energy, anxious, stressed or not in peak form in some way.
I don't want to add any spoilers here, so you can enjoy your journey and hopefully, read the end of the e-book in due course.
Even though most of the materials and this website were created by myself, there is a section in the book where I try to express my gratitude to all those who have contributed to the book and to my life in general.
There is also a section where my husband introduces me (I love it!!!) and a list of resources I have found useful.
The e-book also contains a direct link to the free Companion to Resilient Loving, a Word document that acts as a space for you to journal, to answer questions, to treasure any new insights, and to be creative and playful.
Are you coming on this journey with me?
